Tips on Blogging

You can't force it, that's for sure, and I was surely trying to do that just now. Then I thought, "Why don't you just type about how you blog?" that in itself is a topic that I can post about :D

See? I always win :)

So if you've come across this post because you want to start your own blog and you're lost then let me give you some advice. Blogging comes down to two things, in my opinion:

You have to blog about things you like

and


You have to do it often

1. You have to blog about things that you like because otherwise you won't have interest in your blog. Not only that, but it makes you a fake person, and sooner or later you'll realize that you are only doing this blog thing because you're looking for popularity or approval from other people (this is directed mainly to youtubers trying to establish a blog).

2. You have to do it often, regardless of whether you think people are reading/commenting or not so that whenever someone does stumble across your blog and sees that you have a lot to say about the things you like, he or she will tell someone else about your site and they will all go hunting through your archives!

And just like I said at first, it can't be forced. I just have a thing about typing. I like helping out by giving advice, and I like sharing funny things. Also, I am very opinionated, and so I like to offer my 2 cents (sometimes 2 thousand dollars) on certain issues that come up, such as the Aretha Franklin thing a while back. I actually have 2 other blogs (the other two are more personal and less public than this one).

Anyway, I hope this helped out!

Can't Sleep

I've been laying down now for half an hour and just can't sleep. I'm thinking about the current situation with "G". It really is quite a mess. You see, "G" is a mystery to me right now. I don't understand it. Do you want me? Do you not want me? "G" claims that "G" will never be able to tell me a straight up "No I don't want you", but why is that?

Others have said that "G" is trying to not hurt my feelings, but doesn't "G" realize that playing this wishy washy game is really just taking me for an emotional roller coaster ride? I mean, sure enough you can SAY "oh johnathan i can't say no but i really do mean it... I don't wanna hurt your feelings" but unless you TELL me "NO" I am going to think somewhere in my mind that you are actually reserving some kind of feeling for me...

and yet, that doesn't seem to be the case, so why do I trick myself into believing something that is not at all real. Something that is basically said, but just not. Something that has all of the signs, but I refuse to read them. I really wanted us to work out, but I guess I didn't think about "G". I told "G" today that I was raised in California, and we don't think about any other state to which "G" responded "that's just your attitude". Perhaps "G" was slightly joking but I know that "G" meant what "G" said. And so I had to stop and ask myself... how am I thinking of only myself?

I mean, yes, "G" is supposedly leaving Memphis soon all together, so I could see how "G" wouldn't want to get into a relationship just to hurt himself, but why not just tell me straight up flat out no then?

At the same time, why can't I just let the shit go? "G" told me that "G" is looking for a guy who is not so into "G"... which is strange, but at the same time I do the same thing. I reject the people who are into me and am chasing the person who rejects me. Ugh, why can't things just be more simple? I feel like I did in 2006 (I think it was a post posted around the same time as now on my birthday about why people don't love back) I hope to get over this situation just as I have that one. It hurts though, and it took yet another person who turned out hurting me even more, to get over that one.

Me? Selfish? no.

lookin up?

I have a good feeling this week. I don't know what it is. Well.. I know what it is, but I don't want to say anything just yet. I mean, this is my own little personal space and all... nobody knows about it, but still, I always run a risk of someone stumbling upon it :D

I had a good time recently, and when I'm reading back on this in five years, it may take a little bit of memory jogging, but I'm sure that it will be something that lasts in my memory :)

all these smiley's haha. I'm feeling good.

It Feels Good

It feels good to be able to write here. To know that nobody will read this, and no, I'm not being sarcastic, but lately I just feel like I have had to watch myself. I don't know when the last post at this blog was, but it surely was before I gained so much responsibility. In April I will receive my Bachelor's of Science in Biological Sciences from Rust College. I am glad that it is finally over, even if this really isn't the degree that I want. For the past few months I have been working not only at Fedex Office (formerly Fedex Kinkos) but as a minister of music at a United Methodist Church here in the city. Yes, I have been going through a "coming of age" period, which I feel will never end. It is like I am stuck in one spot right now. This is the position that I said I never wanted to be in. And to make things worse, I don't even have my own place. It is really annoying at times.

For one, I am going through the same things that I went through in 2005, except instead of it being a person whose name starts with a "J", it starts with a "G", and isn't that Ironic? Those are my initials.

I just don't know. I become infatuated with people who have no interest in me, or that have interest, but never pursue it. That has become more evident to me and "J" and I have become closer FRIENDS. I think it turned out being one of those "It'll never happen so I might as well salvage what I can" type things. In either case, I got over it. And now, I am trying to do the same thing with "G", but just faster. It is hard, though. You can't MAKE yourself not like a person, and you can only hold up that hope until one day (I don't know when that day will be) you are just able to say "fuck it... that person doesn't like me."

I think what makes things so difficult is the fact that "G" isn't just telling me to go to hell. The fact that "G" isn't just down right ignoring me. Rather "G" is telling me a lot of things that I want to hear, but as soon as I pursue the matter further, I am being given a completely cold shoulder, until the next time we see each other, by which time, "G" acts like nothing ever happened, and words weren't exchanged. Yes, it is very annoying. And no matter how pissed I get, and no matter how much I say I will NOT say anything else... I give in as soon as I see "G".

So yeah... that's what this is all about. I didn't need to do an annual "life update" blog. I needed to get that off my chest somehow, and with my position in the clergy, and my growing youtube status, what, with the number of people who offer advice, but really don't care, who am I to turn to? I guess myself, as it always has been, and seems to always will be.

I'm So Glad Christmas is Over

I am so glad that Christmas is finished. This is the first time ever, during all of the years of my life, that I have been stressed to this point. I guess being on the other side of the choral ensemble really contributed to that, along with the fact that I work for the major shipping company in the world, in the very center of the world of that shipping corporation.

Concerning the choir, they really just disappointed me and shook my faith in the church itself. How can people run the church? I was hired to be in charge of the music, and yet, if the choir (or one person in the choir) doesn't like it, then all they have to do is report it to the reverend, and in comes an email, telling me "suggestions" on how I can improve my performance (after all, I'm constantly being reminded that I am still in my probationary period).

I've also been thinking alot about getting back into school. I will be getting that young bio degree come this april, but there's just something about it (everyting about the idea really) that isn't so thrilling. Kinda like Miranda said (Devil Wears Prada) "A winter wonderland huh? not so wonderful yet..." I won't be happy until I have my degree(s) in music, pictures of myself conducting, a huge bio, and all of that stuff.

anyway. I have to help this guy on the fax

random thoughts as Obama wins

omg yes finally.
Yes! no more Palin.
Rednecks just got kicked in the teeth... or lack thereof...
HALLELUJAH
thank you GOD!
wow... we've come a long way.
why would you say you're going to move out of the country?
omg, EVERYONE is updating his/her face book status
I wish I were in Grant Park right now.
Can't wait to see the youtube videos this is gonna spawn
ugh McCain supporters SHUT UP
wow my little CNN predictions were nearly right
that big map thing was just a giant iphone...
FIRE UP THE GRILL!
I wanna shout
whoo, i gave fifteen bucks to the Obama campaign :D
omg some people are amazing... such haters on facebook
now black people have NO REASON to complain.
HALLELUJAH!!!!
it's one thing to be upset, it's another to be just disrespectful
I wonder if ppl would react like this if Jesus fell out of the sky...
yeah, the white supremacists are certainly plotting right now
oh lord, they're showing a black lady just crying into a news camera in grant park
ugh I really wanna be in chicago
I'm afraid to go outside.....
I wonder if there will be a parade tomorrow...
I wonder what the inauguration will be like...
THANK YA!!!
eytobasha halabosha!
no work tomorrow!
oh lord... there are some angry folks in the world right now
HAHA to them
wow people ALL OVER THE WORLD are just happy
so... when the hype dies down... what's he gonna do?
gosh...
this is historic.
LOL @ CNN trying to interview King's daughter during a gospel song in church
lol @ this caucasian man in the background during the gospel song!!!
im mad all these ppl in church are in the camera and on the phone.
okay he's about to speak now so imma stop this...

And I'm STILL searching -_-

Okay, I've been waiting for SOME kind of response from any of the billions of places that I applied to here in Memphis. You'd think it wouldn't be hard to get a freaking job at freaking WALGREENS, but even THAT is impossible right now. As one of the managers downtown explained to me, this Walgreens "District" and the 3 surrounding districts are all having to cut back hours. Is it the economy or what? But I'm just saying... I'm not aspiring to be at Walgreens at all, no offense to my friends who work at Walgreens (i.e. Milique) but hell.

I haven't even heard from the church yet, concerning the minister of music position. They said that they would be in touch very soon to let me know either way so that I wouldn't be in suspense, but lo and behold here I am a week later and I haven't heard anything. I am starting to become impatient. Contrary to popular belief, sitting around the house all day IS NOT fun. Especially after having done it for the entire summer because of God and his natural disasters.

Also, I'm tired of people saying "keep your head up", "it will come to you" etc etc. Why don't you HELP me find a job instead of offer up those substanceless words of "encouragement" that I have heard oh so many times before.

On the plus side, it looks like I will be getting my Bio degree. Though, I compare my situation to that of someone on the Titanic. You see, I left biology all together to pursue my life as a musician. I wanted to establish my career in that, even if was going to take me until 27 to get my bachelors. Now, here I am, five thousand dollars in debt, right back where I started: Getting a bio degree. It's truly like I was someone big, but then my ship sunk and I was lucky to get away alive.

UGH.